Attempting to be content with what God has already given me….. Everything is heavy here!




If showed up on Sunday morning would I still be able to feel your presence?

If I sat in the front pew would the ministers words still cut through like a double edged sword,

edging my body towards the front of the congregation to repent of my sins.

Even if I repeated them again,
even if I promised a chance that promoted me to contenplate giving up this world’s  vices forever.

Would sermons sound the same.
Would I still be able to feel the the weight of your name
the weight of the cross….

I used to carry through high school hallways in my backpack unacking the gospel to wandering souls.

Now I wonder if mine is safe.

What if that Sunday never came and I died with this weight; afraid of your response at Heaven’s gates.

The thought is heavy, my heart is heavy, this cross is heavy.
so I placed it down hoping that
you would still be around on Sunday morning if I decided to show up.

We burn bridges and ask for a way to cross over to a promised land
we shun his hand unless it has gifts to bare.

I left only to return…
this world was too heavy for me

Running back hoping to find that empty pew,

this cross is heavy but these sins weigh a ton…

Writing everything away:Entry 1- Life is heavy


Heavy: Heavy is the word on my mental palate today. This world’s weight has began to ware on my body, my mental, and my spirtual well being. Despite this I remember one thing, in weight lifting the more weight you push up the stronger you become. Initially your muscles may not be up to the task, but day by day your muscles begin to adapt and the weight becomes lighter. I pray that as this world begins to weigh down on me that I become stronger. I am aware that life does not become easier, but we have to become stronger.