Love, hate


-The love, hate relationship-

I Fought for this on nights I can’t count,

counted on this to carry me, and

meaning . In the background we I found

a meaning hiding between hopes for

a 9-5 and bonds that traveled

with me far after my feet walked

this campus. Made friends

as sleep and I became strangers.

Stretching the weary body and mind

by keeping in mind that this paper

would create paths to unknown success;

instead I hid you far away from the eye

in embarrassment for the difference

in what I thought you embodied

and what I should have discovered myself. 

Over the years this become my mirror

how should I view you, what light should

I see you in?

Questions still linger three years after

I conquered you.

Many honor you, but I have my own views.

Despite the  outcome it’s all in vanity

to continue the monotonous repetitions of how come,

how could I blame you for a distorted

expectation I  created?

While I haven’t success materialize

I still hold those late nights close

when we were closest to being

immune to stress.

I still find it strange that on nights like these

I find myself at peace when my mind

reverts back to those late nights and early mornings.

Thankful, if not for anything else

at least for the memories of

feeling free, and ironically

the unfamiliar faces eventually became

the closest thing to a distant memory.


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